VP Kamala Harris: Floats like a VP, got song clearance from Queen Bey
Why I've watched the first debate with Harris and Trump 4x
I never understood why people liked watching boxing matches. Why would you want to see somebody get pummeled over and over again? I dated a boxer briefly and hung out with a few others during my first two years at college, but I’d turn my head any time I saw them fighting on TV. Even if they were winning, I didn’t enjoy the fight. The only reason I love “Creed III” fights so much is because of all the animation.
But Vice President Kamala Harris was basically Muhammad Ali in the debate against “this … former president” Donald Trump. And I enjoyed every single millisecond of her verbally beating that man to oblivion: from saying people were bored in his crowds, calling him out for the Central Park 5, making a point of enunciating how to say her name as she basically punked him into a handshake, and the hand-under-the-chin amusement as he rambled about Haitians and cat sandwiches. (Why is pussy always on this man’s mind?)
I have watched this debate four times. I really feel like my high school trigonometry teacher should’ve let me get away with saying “I have a concept of a plan … to pass your class” instead of giving me a “D,” but this isn’t about me.
As much as I respect Queen Bey for allowing her the opportunity to use “Freedom” and Taylor Swift coming out in support of the current VP, I kinda feel like Harris should come out to a new song at the next debate*.
A few suggestions:
Lil Scrappy “No Problems”
Bone Krusher “Never Scared”
Crime Mob “Knuck If You Buck”
Brooke Valentine “Girl Fight”
And although I like that she kept it cute, maybe a lil’ bit of this:
DMX “Party Up”
Trillville “Neva Eva”
And the cherry on top is finding out that his debate coach was Tulsi Gabbard, who had one of the worst turnouts (only got two delegates and needed 1,899 more) to become president in 2020. As soon as I saw her defending Trump’s debate night, it became that much more embarrassing — for him.
Trump walking into ABC’s “Spin Room” to tell everybody he won the debate sounded about like that one overly tough guy who got beat up in a one-on-one fight, but he swears 20 people jumped him.
Looking forward to Round 2!
* I am aware that neither candidate walked out to music. Trump would’ve picked a song to get sued for anyway.
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